I am well
and well taken care of.
I have friends who love and support me.
Teachers who gently and deliberately guide me.
I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself and can open to recieve support at any time it is needed.
I am responsible for what shows up in my life and my life is responsible for me too.
I am worthy of forgiveness, from others and from myself.

I am a clear channel of communication with the Divine.
Angels, Guides and Masters are available to me upon request and always respond to my highest good.
I am a space for healing.
The actions I take and words I speak deepen my integrity and relationship to All Life.
Opportunities of abundance are plentiful and clear to me.
My work is never done, and I am at Peace with the knowing that life is a process.
I am grateful for all that is. All that I am.
I am Perfect.
I am Whole.
I am complete.



On Thursdays I partake in a writer’s group, Lake Worth Ink, we are given one word prompts to write freely on, with one rule- do not pick up the pen. ‘Recovery’ was one of our 5 minute prompts yesterday. As co-founder and visionary of The Wakeup– an Alliance and hub of synergistic support for the transformation of the energy of addiction, I felt urged to share what ‘recovery’ means to me.

You have nothing to recover from, only remember.
What is it I would want to re-cover, anyway? This is an unraveling.
If anything, it is a re-membering, because what I know is I dis-membered, I covered. I shut down.
And this transformation seems to be eased, accelerated, fortified by the nakedness that happens when that which was covered becomes unveiled, ‘dis-covered’ and that which by my own hand… I dis-membered is put back into position an arm, a leg, a mind, a heart.
Re-membering all the way to wholeness- which of course I always was, now I just get to uncover it.
And I believe in the restructuring, the resurrecting, the waiting on the thought to align, no resistence..
As I define
As I declare
You have nothing to recover, only Re-Member.

The Wakeup holds a fundamentally different belief about addictions/attachments, we have become an active force- shaping and molding how society goes about ‘treating’ addiction. Find out more! www.The-wakeup.com


I stopped to check my breathing
while my soul wandered else where.
Pulling up memories
rooted in graves
long unkempt.
I am grateful
to allow resistance to fall away.
Letting emotions roll through
as the tides pulled by the moon.
What haunts the body and spoils the mind
drowning in a journey
that most have left unsaid.
I am still- as my heart races.
Fluttering as the fractals,
the visitors that come to assist
the cleansing of the essence
of all I have lived.

“Good” Body

Not broken
To feel Beautiful on the inside and outside… This has long escaped me.

I grew up a heavy, chunky girl- desperately uncomfortable in my own skin. I believed people couldn’t and wouldn’t see me unless they saw it from the outside first, and more importantly I too looked from the outside in. Measuring ‘Emily’ by her waistline. 
Cocaine, diet pills and heavy partying brought with them an extreme lifestyle. Not eating for days and buying drugs before food had caused me to drop 50+ pounds rapidly. I was finally skinny. My ‘good’ body became a tool that made partying easier. I felt that as long as I was skinny enough I would never be alone, sober or bored. Yet misery was still my closest friend. 
Eventually addiction- the slow winding crawl to opiates, heroin and a critically unhealthy and co-dependent 5yr relationship had me relinquishing my facade for familiarity, for comfort, for the warm feeling of Nothingness opiates brought. I gained weight as I watched myself slide further and further as if adding gravity to my fall. Intravenous use mirrored my self-hate, and its potency polarized my despair. I saw only ugliness when I looked at my reflection. I saw only ugliness when I closed my eyes. 
       Two and half years ago- Transformation Happened. I learned to love myself. I learned to see myself, regardless of my pants size, my past, my stories, my labels. I learned to see straight through to the Core of my Divinity- my Essence- my Soul- God That I Am, That I Am.
My journey of transformation out of addiction, seperation and despair and into self- love has brought with it many many many gifts but tonight as a reach a landmark in my weightloss experience, I am humbled by the ability of our bodies- as sacred containers, teachers, reflections, and as indicator to our Spirit and our Heart…. 

My good body gave me Scars.
My good body gave me a life of memories, bittersweet
My good body gave me Rape
       of body 
My good body gave me Sacrifice 
                 of body 
                         and spirit
My good body gave me a Facade 
within which I hid
to play a story of ignorance 
       of pushing myself 
         far beyond reason 
               or belief
Ego driven force. 
Invincible Youth. 
My good body gave me Fear
      of losing it all
           of time
               of choices 
My good body gave me Judgement
My good body gave me Lust
My good body has been Raw 

This Good body Embodies 
   All that I am 
   All that I was 
    All that I will be
This Good body is the same as That Good body
And Now at One, As One- She Is Love 
I do not fear being healthy and having a ‘good’ body. This body is a reflection of my truth. My Divinity. And while a reflection and embodiement of the past, no longer a tool or item up for exchange.
I Am My Worth, not my body although including it as a temple- as a sacred vessel of creator source energy.
This body reflects my acknowledgement of this fact. Always.
And This Body is proud of what it contains.

           This Body is mine. 
This Body is Whole 
This Body is Healed 
This Body is Perfect
This Body is Hope 
This Body is Love 
This Body is God 

This Body I will Purify 
This Body I will Honor
This Body I will Respect 
This Body I will Cherish 
This Body I will Nurture 
This Body I will be Gentle to
This Body I will See 
This Body I will Love